Want to be a billionaire?

Hello! I’m looking for my perfect criminal sidekick. If it has always been your dream to rob a bank dressed as a pig, keep reading! I am verry clumsy myself, so I need a person who is very handy. I also need someone small because we are going to climb though the sewer and if you are tall you won’t fit. The last thing I need you to be is smart because I am very dumb and if we have to split the money I am not going to know what the half is. I have a very recognizable appearance so if we meet in the future you will know it’s me. I have a long pink beard and a lot of nose piercings. I also have no teeth because the last time I robbed a bank I got caught and my teeth were knocked out. That is why I need you. By the way my name is Edwardo the crazy criminal.